Chemo Blue Balls

chemotherapy

nutrition

January 27, 2026

Today was supposed to be episode four of chemo season two. Instead, it turned into a reminder that some setbacks are self-inflicted. In a previous post, I wrote about the pain I’ve been dealing with. Turns out, part of it is on me. On Friday, I did an upper-body workout and pushed too hard. I’ve been trying to keep things conservative—only two gym sessions a week, low weight, and only during my good week. Mondays are lower body. Fridays are upper body. Simple. Controlled. Sensible. Or so I…

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How Am I Doing? I Feel Like Shit

cancer

chemotherapy

January 26, 2026

How am I doing? The ongoing question. The honest answer: I feel like shit. My body never fully recovered from chemo, season one. Nine months post-chemo, I was *close* to normal—but I’d already been told full recovery can take up to five years. I finished season two, episode three almost two weeks ago. Episode four starts tomorrow. And I’m dealing with systemic pain. Primarily: shoulders, neck, clavicle, lower back, and my big left toe. Season one chemo was **FOLFOX**. The “OX” is…

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Fasting, Autophagy, and Chemo

cancer

chemotherapy

nutrition

January 25, 2026

What Autophagy Actually Is Autophagy is your body's cellular recycling program. When you go without eating for an extended period, your cells start breaking down old, damaged, or worn-out parts and reusing them for energy or repairs. It's not some exotic new discovery—your body does this naturally at a low level all the time. Now, here's an important distinction I need to clear up: autophagy and ketosis are not the same thing, though they often get lumped together. Ketosis is a metabolic state…

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Red Cabbage, Arugula, and the Chemistry That Matters

cancer

nutrition

January 25, 2026

After learning how to properly prepare broccoli—chop, wait, cook gently—I assumed the lesson ended there. End of story. It doesn't. Cruciferous vegetables don't naturally contain large amounts of sulforaphane or indoles in their active form. Instead, they store precursors called glucosinolates. Myrosinase is the enzyme that converts those precursors into biologically active compounds when the plant is damaged by cutting, chewing, or crushing. Myrosinase doesn't have to come from the same…

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Cooking Broccoli the Wrong Way

cancer

nutrition

January 24, 2026

While researching nutrition strategies to put my body in the strongest possible position to fight cancer again, cruciferous vegetables consistently rose to the top. (I still have to slow down to pronounce it correctly: [kroo-sif-er-uhs].) This does not mean these foods “kill cancer.” They don’t. What the evidence supports is more restrained: cruciferous vegetables contain compounds that can modulate pathways involved in cancer growth, detoxification, inflammation, and cellular stress. In other…

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Hanging Between Luck and Steel

book

January 23, 2026

The train was faster than any we’d tried before. I almost pulled back. I didn’t. My feet slipped on the loose rock, and suddenly my legs were sliding forward — right under the edge of the train. Steel passed inches above my shins. My hands shot up and caught the ladder. Rust bit into my palms. The vibration ran straight up my arms. I hung there, legs dangling just inches from the tracks, breath gone, the metal alive beneath my grip. That was the first time the thrill outran my timing. And the…

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A Millimeter From Darkness

book

January 22, 2026

I copied the posture that worked for a BB gun and applied it to a shotgun without understanding the physics, the recoil, the risk. A child mimics what he knows, not realizing how different the stakes are. I pulled the trigger. The blast was instantaneous — a concussive punch that slammed into my shoulder and snapped my head sideways. A streak of pain tore across my face, hot and bright, and I screamed. Blood ran down my cheek in a thin, warm line. For a moment, my father thought the worst —…

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Open Questions for my Oncologist

cancer

chemotherapy

January 21, 2026

I want to confirm a few technical details about my diagnosis and treatment and clarify whether any complementary approaches raise concerns. 1. Tumor Classification (Confirmation) Can you confirm that my tumor classification is correct? -- MMR status: MSS / pMMR -- Meaning: Microsatellite stable; mismatch repair proficient 2. Immunogenetics What is my HLA (human leukocyte antigen) type? -- Has this already been tested? -- If not, is there value in testing it now? 3. Compatibility With Eastern /…

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Cold Plunges, Chemo, and Neuropathy

cancer

adjunctive support

January 20, 2026

I want to clarify something when I talk about neuropathy. I don’t mean cold sensitivity. I mean nerve damage. In my case, it shows up as pain when pressure is applied to the top of my left big toe. This wasn’t happening last week. It started after my third chemo treatment, which matters. On day 7, I also woke up with significant back and neck stiffness—tight enough that turning my head was difficult. The day before, I did low-intensity lower-body weights, and combined with chemo, that’s a…

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Omega-3 as a Chemo Tool

cancer

chemotherapy

nutrition

January 20, 2026

As season 2 of chemo cycles began, I wanted a tool to help me decide when and what to eat. I built a simple chemo helper to track these foods, supplements, and timing across each cycle. Today, I wanted to learn more about omega-3s from food. What are the benefits of Omega-3s, and why only on certain days? Why omega-3 matters Omega-3s (specifically EPA and DHA from food) help during chemo because they address what treatment stresses most after the drugs stop circulating. Used at the right time,…

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Reviewing TCM “Chemo-Support” Herbs (With My Oncologist)

cancer

adjunctive support

January 19, 2026

My acupuncturist recommended this reading as background on Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) approaches to chemo side effects: Chemo Herb Support (PDF). I’m not taking anything based on theory alone. The goal here is simple: identify a short list of lower-risk herbs to review with my oncologist first, rather than sending a large formula with unknown interaction risks. MY MEDICAL CONSTRAINTS - Chemo regimen: FOLFIRI (irinotecan + 5-FU ± leucovorin) - Key metabolism issue: Irinotecan is…

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The Chemo Check-In I Didn’t Ask For

cancer

January 18, 2026

How do you feel? How was the last chemo? I appreciate the care and concern, but answering those questions over and over is becoming overwhelming. It pulls energy away from healing. In general, chemo sucks. There’s always some level of inflammation or pain somewhere in my body. Here’s the routine: Tuesday (Day 0) Five-plus hours at the hospital getting the chemo drip. I’m sent home with a portable pump that delivers poison into my body for the next 48 hours. Wednesday (Day 1) The worst day.…

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Planning Ahead So I Can Focus on Living

cancer

January 17, 2026

I’ve reached a chapter in my life I never imagined at 51. The Reaper isn’t a metaphor anymore. He’s scratching at the door. My odds of survival feel like two bullets in a revolver—maybe less. This can be a curse. It can also be a gift. Most people die suddenly and leave chaos behind—unanswered questions, emotional landmines, and impossible decisions dumped on the people they love most. I have something they don’t: time. Time to decide. Time to be explicit. Time to remove doubt. One of the most…

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Baby Shark

book

January 16, 2026

My dad watched my progress with quiet pride. The guys came over to drink beer and play pool. Many nights, I was the opening act — five years old, standing on a chair, dropping balls and jaws at the same time.

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The Art of Shit Talking

book

January 15, 2026

That’s when he taught me the art of shit-talking. Not as a lecture — more like a lion keeping a cub in check. He’d talk just enough to raise the stakes. Call the next crazy shot. Back it up. Or slip in a hustler’s nudge: “There’s a lot of pressure on this one.” “Too bad you missed that easy shot for the win.” Sometimes he said it before even walking up to the eight ball. Naturally, I fired back. That rhythm lasted our entire lives. We only see each other once a year now, but the same pool table…

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