The Waiting is the Hardest Part

February 19, 2026

Still no word on my CT and MRI results. Tuesday was Carnival in Portugal — an official holiday — but in practice, much of the country shuts down for the entire week. Soren's home for winter break, so realistically, I'm not expecting anything yet. But Tom Petty keeps looping in my head: The waiting is the hardest part. I spent a large chunk of my younger life in bars playing pool, and Tom Petty was the jukebox. His songs were the soundtrack of those years. Tina and I saw him at Red Rocks on his…

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A Better Cinnamon

February 15, 2026

I was talking to my mom last night when she casually mentioned something she'd recently learned: there are two types of cinnamon, and one can be hard on the liver. Wait, what? Really? I use cinnamon daily in my coffee. Since moving to Portugal, I've been drinking instant coffee, which isn't great, but cinnamon and milk make it tolerable. Back in the States, I had a wonderful coffee maker with a hopper on top that ground the beans on the fly. I loved that machine. After ten years—and just before…

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Broken Machines and Parking Fines

February 12, 2026

The Rollercoaster ContinuesThis journey is always a rollercoaster — and yesterday was no exception. I got a call from Champalimaud last night: their MRI machine is broken, so I can only do a PET scan. I was secretly kind of happy — the MRI machine's confinement is claustrophobic, and I've never loved being stuffed into that tube. The trade-off? Another drive to Lisbon in rush hour traffic, which stretches a 25-minute trip into 45. But first, the good news. I popped my first Prednisone pill at…

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Clear Scan, Inflamed Body

February 10, 2026

I got the results from my latest PET scan. And the headline is the one every cancer patient wants to read: No evidence of active cancer. The scan showed no signs of recurrence or spread. Even better, areas around my liver and peritoneum that had previously shown activity have regressed. The official conclusion: a "favorable (apparently complete) metabolic response to therapy." In plain English — the chemo is working. There is no active disease showing up on imaging. That's about as strong a…

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Luxury Fabric, Industrial Radiation

February 6, 2026

I had my PET scan today. It was scheduled in the usual Portuguese fashion. My oncologist requested the scan on Monday. At 3:00 p.m. on Thursday, I got a call telling me to be there at 9:30 a.m. Friday morning. At least it got done in 5 days. I not sure I could say the same in the States. Why the PET scanI've been dealing with systemic pain across my chest, back, and neck. That combination raised concern. After consulting both Dr. GPT and my oncologist, we agreed the right move was a PET scan to…

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Sternoclavicular Pain

February 2, 2026

Time to get serious about this clavicle and shoulder pain. This can’t keep dragging on while my strength erodes. I need mobility, strength, and pain control to keep moving forward through this. This didn’t come out of nowhere. After season one, episode two of chemo, I finally got back into the ocean. I’d been craving it since May. Cancer had hit pause on everything. Guincho was firing on the north side—rising tide, closer to high than low. I was cooked, caught a wave all the way in, felt…

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How Am I Doing? I Feel Like Shit

January 26, 2026

How am I doing? The ongoing question. The honest answer: I feel like shit. My body never fully recovered from chemo, season one. Nine months post-chemo, I was *close* to normal—but I’d already been told full recovery can take up to five years. I finished season two, episode three almost two weeks ago. Episode four starts tomorrow. And I’m dealing with systemic pain. Primarily: shoulders, neck, clavicle, lower back, and my big left toe. Season one chemo was **FOLFOX**. The “OX” is…

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Fasting, Autophagy, and Chemo

January 25, 2026

What Autophagy Actually Is Autophagy is your body's cellular recycling program. When you go without eating for an extended period, your cells start breaking down old, damaged, or worn-out parts and reusing them for energy or repairs. It's not some exotic new discovery—your body does this naturally at a low level all the time. Now, here's an important distinction I need to clear up: autophagy and ketosis are not the same thing, though they often get lumped together. Ketosis is a metabolic state…

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Red Cabbage, Arugula, and the Chemistry That Matters

January 25, 2026

After learning how to properly prepare broccoli—chop, wait, cook gently—I assumed the lesson ended there. End of story. It doesn't. Cruciferous vegetables don't naturally contain large amounts of sulforaphane or indoles in their active form. Instead, they store precursors called glucosinolates. Myrosinase is the enzyme that converts those precursors into biologically active compounds when the plant is damaged by cutting, chewing, or crushing. Myrosinase doesn't have to come from the same…

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Cooking Broccoli the Wrong Way

January 24, 2026

While researching nutrition strategies to put my body in the strongest possible position to fight cancer again, cruciferous vegetables consistently rose to the top. I still have to slow down to pronounce it correctly: [kroo-sif-er-uhs]. This does not mean these foods "kill cancer." They don't. What the evidence supports is more restrained: cruciferous vegetables contain compounds that can modulate pathways involved in cancer growth, detoxification, inflammation, and cellular stress. In other…

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Open Questions for my Oncologist

January 21, 2026

I want to confirm a few technical details about my diagnosis and treatment and clarify whether any complementary approaches raise concerns. 1. Tumor Classification (Confirmation) Can you confirm that my tumor classification is correct? -- MMR status: MSS / pMMR -- Meaning: Microsatellite stable; mismatch repair proficient 2. Immunogenetics What is my HLA (human leukocyte antigen) type? -- Has this already been tested? -- If not, is there value in testing it now? 3. Compatibility With Eastern /…

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Cold Plunges, Chemo, and Neuropathy

January 20, 2026

I want to clarify something when I talk about neuropathy. I don't mean cold sensitivity. I mean nerve damage. In my case, it shows up as pain when pressure is applied to the top of my left big toe. This wasn't happening last week. It started after my third chemo treatment, which matters. On day 7, I also woke up with significant back and neck stiffness—tight enough that turning my head was difficult. The day before, I did low-intensity lower-body weights, and combined with chemo, that's a…

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Omega-3 as a Chemo Tool

January 20, 2026

As season 2 of chemo cycles began, I wanted a tool to help me decide when and what to eat. I built a simple chemo helper to track these foods, supplements, and timing across each cycle. Today, I wanted to learn more about omega-3s from food. What are the benefits of Omega-3s, and why only on certain days? Why omega-3 matters Omega-3s (specifically EPA and DHA from food) help during chemo because they address what treatment stresses most after the drugs stop circulating. Used at the right time,…

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Reviewing TCM “Chemo-Support” Herbs (With My Oncologist)

January 19, 2026

My acupuncturist recommended this reading as background on Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) approaches to chemo side effects: Chemo Herb Support (PDF). I’m not taking anything based on theory alone. The goal here is simple: identify a short list of lower-risk herbs to review with my oncologist first, rather than sending a large formula with unknown interaction risks. MY MEDICAL CONSTRAINTS - Chemo regimen: FOLFIRI (irinotecan + 5-FU ± leucovorin) - Key metabolism issue: Irinotecan is…

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The Chemo Check-In I Didn’t Ask For

January 18, 2026

How do you feel? How was the last chemo? I appreciate the care and concern, but answering those questions over and over is becoming overwhelming. It pulls energy away from healing. In general, chemo sucks. There’s always some level of inflammation or pain somewhere in my body. Here’s the routine: Tuesday (Day 0) Five-plus hours at the hospital getting the chemo drip. I’m sent home with a portable pump that delivers poison into my body for the next 48 hours. Wednesday (Day 1) The worst day.…

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Planning Ahead So I Can Focus on Living

January 17, 2026

I’ve reached a chapter in my life I never imagined at 51. The Reaper isn’t a metaphor anymore. He’s scratching at the door. My odds of survival feel like two bullets in a revolver—maybe less. This can be a curse. It can also be a gift. Most people die suddenly and leave chaos behind—unanswered questions, emotional landmines, and impossible decisions dumped on the people they love most. I have something they don’t: time. Time to decide. Time to be explicit. Time to remove doubt. One of the most…

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