raig daniels
One of the most concrete things I can do with that time is get my end-of-life directives in order. Tina and I have had a will in place for years. That part was easy. Death “later” is abstract. Death “soon” is not. We kept putting the rest off for another day. That day is now.
End-of-life directives aren’t about giving up. They’re about ownership. About making sure the worst day of someone else’s life isn’t made worse because they don’t know what I would have wanted. These are the decisions I need to answer.
Section 1: What Needs to Be Legal
1. Advance Healthcare Directive (Living Will)
This documents my medical wishes if I’m unable to speak for myself.
Questions I need to answer:
1. What life-sustaining treatments do I want or refuse?
2. Under what conditions should treatment stop?
3. How aggressively should pain be treated?
**Portugal (important):**
In Portugal, this must be a *Diretiva Antecipada de Vontade (DAV)*. To be enforceable in hospitals, it must be:
* Written in Portuguese
* Legally executed
* Registered in the national health system registry (RENTEV)
If it isn’t registered, hospital staff may never see it.
2. Healthcare Proxy / Medical Power of Attorney
This names the person who can make medical decisions if I cannot.
Questions I need to answer:
1. Who do I trust to decide under pressure?
2. Who is the backup if that person is unavailable or overwhelmed?
3. How much discretion should they have if situations don’t match my written instructions exactly?
**Portugal:**
The proxy must be named in the Portuguese DAV and recognized under Portuguese law. Verbal authority or foreign documents are not enough.
3. DNR / DNI (Do Not Resuscitate / Do Not Intubate)
These are explicit instructions about emergency interventions.
Questions I need to answer:
1. Do I want CPR if my heart stops?
2. Do I want to be placed on a ventilator?
3 Are there conditions where these rules change?
**Portugal:**
These instructions must be included in the DAV and visible in hospital records. They are not assumed and are not inferred.
4. Quality of Life Thresholds (Legally Referenced)
This defines what “too much” means to me.
Questions I need to answer:
1. What level of cognitive loss is unacceptable?
2. What level of dependency would I not want prolonged?
3. When does treatment stop adding value and start adding suffering?
**Portugal:**
Doctors may override vague instructions. Clear language matters.
Section 2: What Guides Decisions (Not Legal, But Critical)
5. Pain Management Preferences
This clarifies tradeoffs I’m willing to make.
Questions I need to answer:
1. Do I prioritize comfort over alertness if needed?
2. Do I want aggressive pain control even if it shortens life?
3. Are there treatments I explicitly want or refuse?
This guides my proxy when situations aren’t black and white.
6. Hospice and Palliative Care
This defines when care shifts from curing to comfort.
Questions I need to answer:
1. At what point do I want hospice involved?
2. Do I prefer care at home or in a facility?
3. Who should be notified when this transition happens?
**Portugal:**
Hospice and palliative care are available through the public health system, but timing and referrals matter. Early clarity prevents delays.
Section 3: Practical and Personal Decisions
7. Preferred Location of Care (If There Is a Choice)
Questions I need to answer:
1. Home, hospital, or hospice?
2. What minimizes disruption and stress for my family?
8. Organ and Tissue Donation
Questions I need to answer:
1. Do I want to donate organs or tissue?
2. Are there limits or exclusions?
9. After-Death Arrangements
This removes guesswork for the people I love.
Questions I need to answer:
1. Burial or cremation?
2. Any specific wishes—or a clear “keep it simple” instruction?
10. Messages, Notes, and Loose Ends
This is about closure, not legality.
Questions I need to answer:
1. Messages for Tina
2. Messages for my son, now and for later
3. Instructions for unfinished writing, digital assets, or personal work
Why I’m Doing This Now
Doing this doesn’t mean I expect the worst. It means I’m responsible enough to plan for it. The clearer these answers are, the less emotional weight my family carries—and the more energy we all get to keep focused on living.