Seek & Destroy

March 11, 2026

Today is chemo #5, and I'm writing this from the chemo chair — poison pumping into my body like soldiers on a seek-and-destroy mission. Cue Metallica's aforementioned song if you want to enter my headspace. Wow, I sound like a douchebag. My high school self would punch me in the face just for using the word "aforementioned" — let alone using it alongside Metallica. I'm sure Kaiser will do me the honor next time we meet. First word that popped into my head. I'm sticking with it. Before treatment…

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Finding the Right Surgeon

March 2, 2026

Where I Am Right NowStage IV colorectal adenocarcinoma. The short version: diagnosed, completed 12 cycles of FOLFOX, recurred in the liver nine months later, reclassified as Stage IV. Now on FOLFIRI — with a measurable response. My latest MRI came back better than expected. The cancer deposits — subcapsular implants on the liver surface and two pelvic implants — have all shrunk significantly. One liver implant went from 28×21mm down to 15×3mm. That is not a rounding error. The chemotherapy is…

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Down in a Hole

February 25, 2026

Today marks the start of chemo episode four of season two, and it drops me straight back into the analogy I built during season one. The one that inevitably triggers Down in a Hole by Alice in Chains, looping in my head. Chemo feels like being kicked into a hole. The chemo monster shows up and shoves me in. It takes days of crawling, inch by inch, just to reach the surface again. And when you do, you're more battered than the last time. Most people only see me when I resurface. They don't see…

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F1 — Not the Racing

February 23, 2026

Not Formula 1. FoundationOne CDx. A month ago, I dropped €3,600 to have my tumor genetically profiled. Today I sat down with my oncologist to review the results. FoundationOne CDx analyzes hundreds of cancer-related genes in tumor tissue to identify driver mutations, biomarkers like MSI and TMB, FDA-approved targeted therapies, and clinical trial matches. It's a DNA-level blueprint of the cancer. My results: KRAS G12V mutation, MSI-Stable, low tumor mutational burden (4 muts/Mb), HRD-negative,…

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A Better Cinnamon

February 15, 2026

I was talking to my mom last night when she casually mentioned something she'd recently learned: there are two types of cinnamon, and one can be hard on the liver. Wait, what? Really? I use cinnamon daily in my coffee. Since moving to Portugal, I've been drinking instant coffee, which isn't great, but cinnamon and milk make it tolerable. Back in the States, I had a wonderful coffee maker with a hopper on top that ground the beans on the fly. I loved that machine. After ten years—and just before…

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Another Delayed Chemo and a New Path Emerging

February 6, 2026

As expected, chemotherapy did not happen today, even though it was on the schedule. Because of the last-minute PET scan on Friday, I did not go in for bloodwork and did not expect to receive the scan results by this morning. Given that, I assumed chemo would be postponed. I called my oncologist to confirm, and today’s treatment was officially cancelled, saving me an unnecessary drive to Lisbon. My oncologist does not want to make any treatment decisions until the PET scan results are back. We…

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Luxury Fabric, Industrial Radiation

February 6, 2026

I had my PET scan today. It was scheduled in the usual Portuguese fashion. My oncologist requested the scan on Monday. At 3:00 p.m. on Thursday, I got a call telling me to be there at 9:30 a.m. Friday morning. At least it got done in 5 days. I not sure I could say the same in the States. Why the PET scanI've been dealing with systemic pain across my chest, back, and neck. That combination raised concern. After consulting both Dr. GPT and my oncologist, we agreed the right move was a PET scan to…

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Sternoclavicular Pain

February 2, 2026

Time to get serious about this clavicle and shoulder pain. This can’t keep dragging on while my strength erodes. I need mobility, strength, and pain control to keep moving forward through this. This didn’t come out of nowhere. After season one, episode two of chemo, I finally got back into the ocean. I’d been craving it since May. Cancer had hit pause on everything. Guincho was firing on the north side—rising tide, closer to high than low. I was cooked, caught a wave all the way in, felt…

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Easing Off the Throttle

February 1, 2026

Looks like I'm back on track. I submitted bloodwork earlier Saturday. The results came back the same day, but I waited until Sunday morning to open them. Creatine kinase dropped from off-the-charts high—1123 U/L to 83 U/L. The normal range is range 46–171 U/L. Overall, the bloodwork was good. • CK normalized • Kidney function stable • No lingering muscle damage Clear confirmation that I overdid it in the gym—and that stopping fixed it. The correction worked. What;s still concerning CRP is 3.10…

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Chemo Blue Balls

January 27, 2026

Today was supposed to be episode four of chemo season two. Instead, it turned into a reminder that some setbacks are self-inflicted. In a previous post, I wrote about the pain I’ve been dealing with. Turns out, part of it is on me. On Friday, I did an upper-body workout and pushed too hard. I’ve been trying to keep things conservative—only two gym sessions a week, low weight, and only during my good week. Mondays are lower body. Fridays are upper body. Simple. Controlled. Sensible. Or so I…

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How Am I Doing? I Feel Like Shit

January 26, 2026

How am I doing? The ongoing question. The honest answer: I feel like shit. My body never fully recovered from chemo, season one. Nine months post-chemo, I was *close* to normal—but I’d already been told full recovery can take up to five years. I finished season two, episode three almost two weeks ago. Episode four starts tomorrow. And I’m dealing with systemic pain. Primarily: shoulders, neck, clavicle, lower back, and my big left toe. Season one chemo was **FOLFOX**. The “OX” is…

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Fasting, Autophagy, and Chemo

January 25, 2026

What Autophagy Actually Is Autophagy is your body's cellular recycling program. When you go without eating for an extended period, your cells start breaking down old, damaged, or worn-out parts and reusing them for energy or repairs. It's not some exotic new discovery—your body does this naturally at a low level all the time. Now, here's an important distinction I need to clear up: autophagy and ketosis are not the same thing, though they often get lumped together. Ketosis is a metabolic state…

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Open Questions for my Oncologist

January 21, 2026

I want to confirm a few technical details about my diagnosis and treatment and clarify whether any complementary approaches raise concerns. 1. Tumor Classification (Confirmation) Can you confirm that my tumor classification is correct? -- MMR status: MSS / pMMR -- Meaning: Microsatellite stable; mismatch repair proficient 2. Immunogenetics What is my HLA (human leukocyte antigen) type? -- Has this already been tested? -- If not, is there value in testing it now? 3. Compatibility With Eastern /…

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Omega-3 as a Chemo Tool

January 20, 2026

As season 2 of chemo cycles began, I wanted a tool to help me decide when and what to eat. I built a simple chemo helper to track these foods, supplements, and timing across each cycle. Today, I wanted to learn more about omega-3s from food. What are the benefits of Omega-3s, and why only on certain days? Why omega-3 matters Omega-3s (specifically EPA and DHA from food) help during chemo because they address what treatment stresses most after the drugs stop circulating. Used at the right time,…

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