I thought I was hot shit.

I built an 18-page PDF — a master health profile. Page one: a quick summary of my current cancer status, something an oncologist could scan in sixty seconds. A table of contents with clickable links to every section. Five years of history: thyroid cancer, pathology report summaries, abnormal bloodwork trends. The whole picture, organized, cross-referenced, ready to hand off.

I sent it to my parents. I sent it to Kaiser.

"Check out this badass document I created."

So when MSK asked for my medical documents yesterday, I couldn't wait. Here it is. The document. My document.

What I got back: "We need the original documents from the medical facilities."

My first reaction was anger. I laid it all out for you. Clean. Organized. I saved you hours. You're welcome.

But here's the thing — they don't want my interpretation of my records. They need documents from medical professionals to make a medical assessment. Why would they trust me to accurately summarize my own case? They shouldn't.

My document is still pretty fucking cool, though.